First year in England Memories - Recall Diary
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Flying on a plane for the first time. The journey from the Philippines to the Uk.
I was 7 years old. My father told me we would go to my mother and live with her. That getting to her is going to be a long journey.
I remember thinking as a child that I knew that mama had to leave us for work a year ago, and she had to go far away to buy me things that would help me in the future. With a lack of knowledge of geography, I thought that my mother just went to a different part of the Philippines.
I took my first plane. The first flight was from Cebu to the capital of the Philippines, Manila. I remember thinking it was such a long flight of 1 hour and 15 minutes, but it was all worth it as I got to see my mother as soon as I landed, and I could tell her about my adventure. Imagine my disappointment when she was nowhere to be seen. My father told me we had to be patient and wait for our next flight. Seeing the view from the plane made me realise how massive the world is. Two more planes and 20 hours later, we met up with my mother in England at London Heathrow airport.
I was very excited to see my mother, but my sister hesitated to approach her. My mother left my younger sister when she was 3 months old, the only parent she knows is my father. I thought it was strange for her to act like that as she's always clingy to my dad. She should be excited to see mama like I am.
From London, we took the train to New Milton, another 2 hour journey. I was intrigued by the train journey from a bustling city to the calm countryside. From the views, I saw no familiarity. Everything was new and different. I didn't know whether to be scared or excited. Finally, we arrived at our new flat—a new home.
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We lived in a one-bedroom flat that we rented with a family friend. Our family friend took the small bedroom while my family of 4 shared the living room.
When we arrived at our flat, I thought we would live in a bigger home than my house in the Philippines. I was disappointed to find out that what was ours was just one floor. Even more when I have to share with my entire family. Squeezing to sleep on a double bed. A small kitchen. A small flat without any privacy.
Within the first week of living in the flat, I realise that my parents never let me explore the neighbourhood on my own like they did when I was in the Philippines. My parents were very protective of me. In a new place, in a country with a different language and neighbours who are strangers. Therefore I didn't make a lot of friends.
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Starting a new school.
My mother enrolled me on the local primary school. This picture is of me wearing my school uniform for the first time. I remember feeling very smart as the uniforms are different in the UK compared to the Philippines. I was excited to finally go to school and meet children my age—potential friends in a new country.
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Looking physically different to other students. I was the only ethnic person in my class.
I remember my first day. I stepped up in front of my class. My teacher introduced me to the class. From looking forward I saw that there is no one that looks familiar to me, onlooking in a sea of light-skinned, blond/light brown hair and green/blue/ light brown eyes. I realised that I stood out visually as a small tanned brown girl with dark brown eyes and hair. As a young girl, this made me anxious about talking to people. Since they look different does that mean they wouldn't accept me because of my appearance? I was bullied a lot in my first year as I was an easy target, I didn't understand any of their insults, and if I did, I would speak back, and they would imitate my accent.
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I couldn't speak English very well. Had a hard time communicating and understanding. I was put into extra English classes which made me behind with the rest of the subjects.
In the Philippines, I was at the top of my class. My teacher favoured me, had a private tutor outside of school and excelled in my studies. I worked hard as my education was paid for by my parents therefore, I can't waste their money and fail even from a young age. I took that mindset with me to England. One of my biggest hurdles was learning English. It lowered my confidence as I found it very difficult to understand, which set me back in all my other subjects. I felt like I was also failing my parents since my grades went down, so what was the point of the sacrifice of bringing me to England? Part of me prioritised learning English to make friends so I can better understand the people around me. I became very lonely and isolated, but I tried my hardest just so I can fit in.
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I brought a Filipino-packed lunch that my mum made me.
My mother's first packed lunch for me was full of Filipino food. Like the picture in one container, I got chicken adobo, lumpia and the signature rice with an egg on top. I was very excited in the morning to know I'll be having this delicious meal for my lunch. Chicken adobo is a type of Filipino chicken stew which taste savoury and sweet. Lumpia can be various spring rolls typically filled with ground pork and veggies like carrots and cabbage. I opened my lunch at lunchtime, and one of my classmates commented that something smelled. Then she sat down opposite me and asked what I was eating. Thinking that she was curious about what I was eating, I explained, but before I finished explaining, she commented that it smelled awful and giggled. She then noticed the cutlery I was holding: a spoon and fork. It is common in the Philippines to eat with a spoon and fork as the spoon can easily scoop the rice. This was my earliest memory of someone disrespecting the food of my culture.
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First Christmas without extended family.
Our first year without extended family and friends. It was strange to not be around people that you have been familiar with all your life. We tried together as a family to make do with what we had.
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Making a Christmas tree on the wall because we couldn't afford a real tree with tinsel and Christmas cards.
Christmas is my family's favorite time of year. We usually have a large tree, but in our first year of living here, my parents saved their money and put it towards essential expenses such as food or rent. Without a Christmas tree, it doesn't feel like Christmas. My mother called me into the hallway with all the Christmas cards given to us by her coworkers or my classmates and green tinsel. My mother got creative and make a tinsel Christmas tree on the wall. Our first tree coming here into England was the most rememberable. I had so much fun helping my mother make the tree and decorating our small flat.
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The first time I experienced snow.
The Philippines is near the equator, meaning very hot and sunny weather all year round. Coming to England wasn't just a culture shock but also a temperature adjustment to cold weather. One thing I looked forward to, which I had only seen in TV shows and movies, was experiencing snow for the first time. I quickly learned that snow is very cold and that the cold isn't for me. It's one of my fondest experiences that we discovered as a family.
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My sister turns 2.
My sister was the first in my family to celebrate her birthday in England. We created a small community of Filipinos, primarily those who work in social care, as that's the line of work my mother is in. We have become friends with our parent's friends' kids. Having a sense of familiarity as they are also Filipino.
This birthday party was filled with food commonly found at Filipino parties. With contributions from our guests, we had an expansive food selection of Filipino sweet spaghetti, chicken adobo, lumpia, pork sisig, rice and much more. Though we were far from family, we made a community of friends that felt like family. Some of whom we still have contact with even when we moved from NewMilton to Newcastle. This was a fun celebration which solidified my feeling of being okay and liking our move to England.
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Fitting in and making friends at my school.
I made friends in my primary infant school. Regan (girl second from right) stood up for me through all the bullying. Then, she invited me to sit with them and have lunch together. Through Regan, I made friends with Heather and Micheal. We formed a little friendship group, and from the time I went to school there, the bullying became less frequent, and I became more fluent in speaking English.
This group made me feel like I fit in. I started to learn English culture through them, and they were interested in my culture too.
Sadly I lost contact with them when I moved to Newcastle.